The overwhelm

Our Babe’s sleep in the first few years can often make or break our motherhood journey.

Sleep is such a crucial part of everyone’s life, yet it somehow ALWAYS gets overlooked. Everyone is eager to ask, “Are they are good sleeper? Sleeping through the night yet?” – Each time leaving you feeling as if you’re doing something “wrong”. You’re constantly getting bombarded with unsolicited opinions and advice every which way.

You feel overwhelmed and as if you are doing something wrong when sleep isn’t going great because there is SO much conflicting advice out there.

One person is telling you that several night wakes at 6 months old is NORMAL yet it feels like everyone else’s baby is sleeping through the night at this age. And just because it’s NORMAL, doesn’t mean that feels good for you….

You’ll hear to restrict day sleep so they are super tired and sleep better at night, or swing so far the other way and say “sleep promotes sleep” … But where the heck do you find the balance with that conflicting advice?

You also see on Facebook groups to co-sleep and contact nap because that’s the only way to form a secure attachment. Then someone else say’s a little bit of tough love is the way to go, leave them to cry and figure it out on their own so you don’t create bad habits.

WTF, no wonder we feel so confused…

So here are my 4 little reminders, when sleep things and motherhood gets overwhelming…

1.       Your Mama instincts are strong… If you know something is wrong and goes beyond just the sleep stuff, listen to that. Keep advocating for your Babe – There is so much more to sleep then just settling methods. And often sleep disturbances come in the form of allergies/intolerances, gut health, nutrient deficiencies, obstructive airway issues etc. If you feel like something is up, then keep searching.

For so long I felt dismissed with my third baby as I just “knew” there was underlying allergies and intolerances, and it took a lot of advocating and trials and errors to get to the bottom of things. If you feel like something is happening under the surface, it probably is.  Trust your gut.

2.       You don’t have to take advice from everyone and everywhere (remember most people aren’t educated or experienced enough to give advice) and especially when it comes to the internet. Don’t google shit. Only follow a FEW carefully selected parenting gurus that you ACTUALLY align with and block out all the other noise. This is something I even did as a parent. Find YOUR people and clear out the rest.
(This includes me. If my sleep stuff doesn’t feel right for you, unfollow and move on Babe. I won’t take it to heart).

3.       You don’t have to “sleep train”. If sleep is going well for you, keep doing the things you are doing. If you’re happy with the way things are and your Babe is otherwise a content and happy little chap, then don’t change just because someone gave off the impression that wouldn’t be their “ideal” sleep situation.
Enjoyable/content sleep can look SO different for every single family and that’s okay.

4.       Good habits and bad habits don’t exist. Only habits that work and the ones that don’t, or no longer do. Remember habits are changeable. Nothing regarding sleep is ever permanent. And some of your most beautiful parts of motherhood will be in the midst of those habits that people deem “BAD” so don’t miss them if you enjoy them…

At the end of the day, as yourself these questions:

• Is your sleep situation working okay for you?

• Is your Babe generally happy and content, or upset and grizzly a lot?

• Do you feel supported by those around you?

• Does your Babe feel calm and content around sleep?

• Are you able to ACTUALLY soak up those contact naps and co-sleeps?
  
  If you answered yes to these questions, then you’ve found the balance Mama, and this is soooooo good. I am so happy for you.

But if you don’t feel like things are working, if you’ve got a very grumpy babe on your hands, if you don’t have a lot of support, your babe is very unsettled when it comes to sleep and you find yourself wishing the contact naps away… Then reach out for some help and guidance from a Sleep Consultant that values the same things you do.